Three Inspiring Women and Their Motherhood Journeys
Fredrika @fakander
Our beautiful new mama, Fredrika, shares what it was like having her family abroad throughout her pregnancy and her highlights with Axel so far.
What was your pregnancy journey with Axel like?
It was really rough. I'm not gonna lie. I got diagnosed with hyperemesis which meant I didn’t get to keep much food down and was very weak and tired. We also renovated our house at the same time and I didn’t have a bathroom or kitchen for the first almost 5 months of my pregnancy! Definitely not how I expected pregnancy to be like- I envy all the glowy growing mamas!
What was it like having your family abroad during your pregnancy and birth?
It was really hard having my family overseas, not just for the pregnancy, but because I haven't seen them for pretty much 3 years because of Covid. It was a little bit tricky but it also made us pretty strong in our little bubble, it was just me and nick (and our dog), and it just knitted us closer together.
What was it like seeing your Mum again?
Seeing my mum again after almost three years…all i remember was crying to be honest! I was just so happy to see her. I also was pretty much 48 hours out of delivery, so my baby was 2 days old and I got to see my mum - it was just the most amazing feeling.
What was the best part of pregnancy?
The best part was when it was over…haha!! I did meet some amazing people though and make some lifelong friends on my pregnancy journey though so I am really, really grateful for that.
Best part of birth?
The whole thing. I was just so in awe of my body. We had the best experience at GCUH and the best staff. It was everything I wanted it to be.
What has surprised you the most about motherhood?
Just the amount of complete unconditional and infinite love that it brought for me. I'm also surprised at how natural everything feels.. It's like he has always been part of us.
What is the highlight of your time with Axel so far?
I think what surprised me the most that I enjoyed it more than I thought I was going to is breastfeeding. I absolutely love it, it's my favourite thing. Even when he wakes up several times during the night and I should be sleep deprived and annoyed, I just get so excited to pick him up and spend some time breastfeeding.
What do you look forward to with Axel in future?
Watching him grow, develop and explore the world around him! I’m so excited for all the little milestones!
Some advice my mother gave me…
Be present (I try to only be on my phone or laptop when he’s sleeping) and don’t ever worry about spoiling your baby when it comes to love and affection, there is no limit. Thanks to that we’re in a constant love bubble! I don’t follow any schedules or timings…we eat when hungry and sleep with tired and cuddle all the time in between and he is the easiest baby!
What is your most used Mama item?
My artipoppe carrier! We use it everyday
Fredrika wears our Lady Palm Gown & Dolly Off Shoulder Sundress
Angel @_angeldixon_
Our inspiring friend, Angel, shares her favourite thing about being a mama to Chet as well as the challenges and beauty in her experience of pregnancy, birth and motherhood with disability.
What was your pregnancy with Chet like?
It was long and too short and peaceful and terrifying… it was everything all at once which I feel pretty much sums up being a parent in general.
I was in awe of my body the entire time. I would probably be happy to be in the second trimester of pregnancy for the rest of my life. It was so fun having a live-in friend!
Tell us more about your pregnancy journey…
My pregnancy journey was…an experience! As a person with disability I had to do a significant amount of preparation in the lead up to becoming a parent, so I think that took a bit of the magic out of actually deciding to have a baby and being able to do it organically and spontaneously, but I think there is some beauty in that as well. The planning itself was actually something that my partner and I did together, in a really wholesome way and that kind of grounded us in parenthood before we even became parents which I felt was something really special.
Up Until my third trimester I was just in love with pregnancy, i thought it was the best thing ever. Then I hit my third trimester and all of the symptoms came rushing in…I was sick and I had preeclampsia and was swollen and all of that.
Then we had a planned Caesar which was beautiful and I had spoken to a lot of people that were very pro natural birth or pro Caesar and I found comfort somewhere in the middle. I needed to have a planned Caesar so I made my peace with that. The day itself was obviously clinical but also really beautiful in its own right. And then Chet was here!
As someone with disability, did you have any challenges in pregnancy or birth?
As someone with disability in the lead up to pregnancy, during my pregnancy and even postpartum, there was a lot of fear involved. As much as I thoroughly enjoyed the experience for its highs and its lows, I feel like the fear of what it would mean for my mobility, what it would mean for my child's life and what I'd be capable of in raising him was something that I really needed to work through.
I did, and now I feel like I am certainly the best mother I can possibly be and he definitely knows what I'm capable of, he pushes me to my limits daily. That was probably the biggest challenge personally for rme, really confronting those barriers in my own mind, because there really aren’t many parents with disabilities that are visible in our media. I didn't have too many people with a similar impairment to me to be able to turn to and go “hey, one handed parenting..how do i do this?”.
What has surprised you the most about motherhood?
Probably just that I can do it! Every day I was pregnant I woke up and was shocked that my body could do it and that just never wore off. I still wake up every morning and it feels like Christmas and every night I can’t believe we all survived the day!
What is your favourite thing about being a Mama?
My absolute favorite thing about being a mum is just learning! I crave lifelong growth and I feel that I got to a point in my life where I was like…I just need something more. And I found it in Chet. He does push me to my limit as a parent, but also as a person.
There’s a lot of healing that comes with becoming a parent and watching someone experience things that you experienced, and you may have connected some shame or awkwardness or even just your own perception, and I think that's been such a beautiful thing for me.
When I was preparing to become a Mum I read a poem about guardianship and it says that life goes not backwards and that we should learn from your children and not try to make them like us, and I really think about that everyday and I am becoming more like my son…and I love it!
What do you look forward to with Chet in future?
Being Chet’s guardian is not something I take lightly. My mission is to nurture and appreciate our ever-evolving relationship to ensure that he has the support needed to simply, be. I look forward to being with him.
What are your top tips for motherhood?
My top tip for parenthood would be: embrace flexibility. I thought I was flexible before I had a child and I realise now that I was not! My vision throughout this experience has been water moving around rocks.
What is your most used Mama item?
Tim Tams…that’s a Mama item right?
Angel wears our Azalea Cropped Blouse, Rose Garden Tiered Skirt, Banksia Shirt Dress & Classic Straight Leg Jean.
Fran @throughrosecolouredglasses
Soon to be mama of two, Fran, chatted with us about challenges of pregnancy loss & what mother's day means to her as somebody who has lost her own mama.
What was your pregnancy journey with Bowie, and now Bloom like ?
All pregnancies have been planned. We brought forward our trying not knowing how long it would take to fall but we got a huge shock when we fell first attempt with Bowie.
I had hyperemis gravadium with Bowie it was a very complication free pregnancy in comparison though. Even with being so sick I still put on double the weight I have with Bloom which is wild… he must have had a big appetite because I ate lots and vomited lots for pretty much all of the pregnancy!
When we were ready to try again we tried and within the next few weeks sure enough two positive lines appeared but sadly I miscarried early August last year. It was devastating. I then went to my naturopath and acupuncturist after the loss and started working on getting my body in an optimal condition to have another baby, both advised we should wait a few months to fall again but it just happened the next month so of course we went with it, but it has been rough this time around.
Hyperemis again for most of this could barely eat til recently, a growth restriction risk and an incorrect diagnosis of Gestational Diabetes was enough to send me into a spin but then I got covid last month which triggered a liver condition called Cholestasis in me so I’m now birthing at 37 weeks which is literally 2 weeks away now.
Lots of medication, extra scans, tests and hospital visits but I’m extremely grateful to be able to have my babies as I know it’s not that easy for some women. Not all motherhood journeys are straight forward for different reasons and I think it’s important we realise that 💞
What has surprised you the most about motherhood?
How much I would love it, it’s honestly the best thing I have ever done with my life. My heart is just so full every single day even when I’m exhausted and frustrated which lately being 35 weeks pregnant with a toddler refusing to go to sleep becomes a lot. It just takes one little smile, funny thing he does or a cute conversation and I forget it all. They say “the days are long but the years are short.” And it’s so true. My babies will only be this little for a fleeting moment and won’t need me forever so I’m
embracing it all.
What does Mother’s Day mean to you, as someone who has lost their own mother?
Previously Mother’s Day always felt like a sad day for me. I would dread looking at social media all these happy photos of people celebrating with their mums but since becoming a mum it has completely changed my perspective and it’s become such a happy day for me and whilst I still miss my mother I have someone else to focus on right now and I just love being a mother so much I find it really easy to celebrate all mothers.
What is your favourite thing about being a mama to Bowie?
I wasn’t expecting to have a boy but being a boy mama first has been such a special journey. It is like having a little boyfriend to love on all the time. He’s extremely intelligent and clever, very independent and talkative for someone his age. I feel like someone with that kind of personality will do great things in life. He makes me very proud to be his mama.
What do you look forward to with the two kids in future ?
I think just feeling complete as a family. We only wanted two children and hoped to have one of each and feel very lucky it happened as we hoped for us. Seeing them bond and all the little funny adventures and mischief they get up to. Lots of memories to be cherished forever. It’s a heartwarming feeling ❤️
Some advice my mother gave me…
“Always listen to your mother.” Was something she often said and I find myself chuckling when I realise she was right lol. But something with more sentiment was “you can do anything you like, you are absolutely capable if you put your mind to it. “
What is your most used Mama item?
When Bowie was a newborn I wouldn’t have survived those early days without a baby carrier. Baby wearing has so many benefits and I feel like people don’t use the carrier enough. I would put him in, he was happy and would sleep, I could have free hands to eat and do housework and keep bonding with my baby at the same time.
Fran wears our Mae Linen Gown & Dolly Ra Ra Gown.